Watching a flower girl and ring bearer walk down the aisle hand in hand is truly heartwarming. 🌸💍 The preciousness, innocence, and sweetness of this tradition always resonate with the crowd.
However, there are some logistical details to consider when selecting the boy and girl for this role. Below is etiquette to consider when choosing your flower girl and ring bearer.
Photographer: Wonderland Photography
1. Age Matters (and Flexibility Helps)
Typical age range: 3–8 years old
Younger than 3? They might be unpredictable or shy. Older than 8? They may feel too grown up.
Tip: Choose a child who is outgoing, used to being around crowds, or has a parent in the wedding party for extra comfort.
2. Ask Parents First—Before Asking the Child
It's important to speak to the parents before inviting the child to be part of your wedding. They may have insight into whether their child is ready or even interested. Plus, the parents will be responsible for outfits, transportation, and overall kid-wrangling.
3. Be Clear About the Expectations
Don’t assume everyone knows what a flower girl or ring bearer does. Clearly explain:
When they’ll walk
Where they go after their walk
Whether they stay for the whole ceremony
Consider a mini “rehearsal” before the actual rehearsal!
4. Cover the Costs (or Set Expectations Early)
Traditionally, parents pay for the child's attire, but many couples offer to cover all or part of the cost—especially if you want a specific dress or suit. Be upfront early so there are no surprises.
5. Give Them a Grown-Up Buddy
Assign a bridesmaid, groomsman, or parent to help them line up, walk down the aisle, and sit down afterward. Having a familiar face nearby can make all the difference.
6. Keep It Short and Sweet
Kids have short attention spans. Try to limit their time in the spotlight and give them a comfy place to sit or hang out during longer parts of the ceremony. Let them exit early if needed—no one will mind!
7. Practice Makes Precious
Kids love to know what’s coming. Practice walking down the aisle at the rehearsal, and let them try their outfit on in advance to avoid day-of meltdowns over itchy lace or tight shoes.
8. Be Prepared for the Unexpected
Despite your best planning, kids are unpredictable. They might cry, freeze, or even run the wrong way—and that’s okay! Embrace the moment, and remember: these are the things that make weddings memorable.
9. Say Thank You (Kid-Style)
Give them a special thank-you gift after the ceremony—like a small toy, coloring book, or treat bag. It makes them feel appreciated and proud of their big role.